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PoPsUxBuMz
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Name: chrissy
State: New Jersey
Birthday: 3/10/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: my friends + family // music // green day ! // brand new // nfg // blink 182 // taking back sunday // ryan cabrera // ashlee simpson // flogging molly // yankees // philadelphia eagles // billie joe armstrong <33 // skater boys =) // spikey hair // concerts // full house // real world // road rules // aim // band // movies // tv // mtv // roseanne // mall // shopping // whatever else..
Expertise: jenn - mike - maria - spencer - danielle - caleb - caitie - nicole - dennis - kim -- i love yous !!
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  S0xL0NGnGOODNiTE
AIM:  SUMxNiMROD182
Member Since:
4/2/2003
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| damnnn. idk why i have such a need to write in here. but i haven't in awhile and no one even reads this anymore so it's whatevaaaa. well the last time i wrote in this i was a junior in high school. so much has changed since then. my dad turned into a crazy alcoholic. it got so bad. i was sick of being called a worthless piece of shit, so i packed my bags and left. i stayed at jenn's house for a few days, but my aunt found out and kinda forced me to live with them. at first it really took alot out of me to adjust, but i managed to do it and this had to be the best decision i have ever made in my life. when i lived with my aunt, uncle, and two cousins, i saw my dad a few times. most of the times he was drunk and reminded me how horrible of a person i am. i had to disconnect him from my life and stay away from him because i hated the way he made me feel. it sickens me to think that a father can treat his daughter like that. it really took me a long time to realize not every guy wants to treat me that way. i still get scared putting trust in guys sometimes because of everything that's happened. i guess it'll just take some time. i hate feeling weak when i get those images back of everything bad that has ever happened to me with him. all the times he's yelled at me, all the times that he told me i ruined his life.. that shit never goes away. i really hope the person i end up with will never be like my father. i would never wish anything like that on anyone.. even a person that i had a deep hate for. what i have gone through with him for 16 years of my life, i wouldn't wish upon anyone.
however, i found one boy who was always there for me when i needed someone to cry to. i read through this thing and saw how much i wanted a boyfriend and lalalalla but honestly, i feel so grateful that god made me wait this long. i dated my ex-boyfriend joe for over a year and a half. he taught me so many things about myself and made me the happiest person in the world. we started going out on the fourth of july of 2006. i can honestly say that it was the best day of my life. i wanted the entire world to know that i had a boyfriend and that he was the best thing that ever happened to me. this kid knows most of my entire life story and can read me like a book. he is the only person that would do absolutely anything for me, even if it put him in a bind. he is also the only person i have ever taken to my mom's grave. it's still extremely hard to wake up every single day knowing that she's not there anymore. i wanted her to meet joe so bad. as time passed, i realized how much i loved him. like.. really loved him. everytime i saw him i got butterflies in my stomach and i felt like i was on cloud nine when i was with him. just as every relationship, we had some pretty rocky times. but i loved being able to talk them out and being able to stay with him. i woke up every single morning knowing that i had somebody who i loved more than anyone else in the world. but unfortunately, things change. it wasn't me. he just wasn't happy with us anymore. and that tore me apart.. it still does. he wanted to be single the rest of his senior year, which i understand. he needs time with his friends and spend time with them because this is it. i don't know. i hear stories from his friends about how he wants to hook up with all these other girls and i even heard that he likes someone. that really makes me break down in tears. i wish i could go and find someone else. but at this point, i feel like it's impossible. i don't want anyone else except him. i just wish that he felt the same way. i knew that i never totally had his heart 100%, but it really sucks getting that reality check. hopefully, we'll get back together during the summer, which is what he said he wanted to do. who knows? i really hope it works out. it sounds gay, but i really would have no trouble spending the rest of my life with him. he is the most amazing person i have ever met in my life. i just want him to wake up and feel the same way. maybe it'll happen.. maybe it won't. i just gotta see i guess.
even though we broke up, i haven't let it get me down. my friends are seriously amazing. they always know how to make me feel better and i feel like without them, i wouldn't be able to get back up. they've made me realize how amazing life is and how amazing i am. they make me feel like a million bucks. i really hope nothing happens to the friends i have now. they seriously are one of a kind. i want my children to meet them all and have amazing people to look up to. i guess we'll see how my life plays out. i just want everything to fall into place for me. i feel like i've gone through so much shit that i just want it to. i deserve it! lol. but i really hope everything with joe and i end up working out because i really love him to death and it'll kill me to have to move on in my life without him.
maybe i'll write soon. we'll see
i feel better now thoughhh lmao<3
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| whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
nicole made a new xanga..& i like..re-found mine. man, it's been a while. ha. i've had this thing for like..a long time. welp, nothing has changed really. i'm gunna be a JUNiOR. ohh shit. & that's it. no boyfriend but w/e. so yeahhh. alright well im outt. laterr <33 | | |
| oh my gosh! i went to change my music & everything is different! wtf..? welp, i'm gunna write in here every so often bkus this thing holds alotta memories. wow, that sounds pretty gay. haha. anyways, uhm, nothing has been going on with me. ya know, same old same old. i went to go see amityville horror last night & i pretty much pissed myself. first time i've ever done that during a scary movie. haha. then today i'm supposedly going with nicole to vintage vinyl so i can pick up my laminate to go see the starting line but i dunno if that's gunna happen. anyways, i'm gunna go now. i'll write in here whenever. later xo0x <3
-Chrissy </3
ily <3 | | |
| aw..i miss this thing..ive had this for 2 years now..i should write in it..but am i is the question..? | | |
| hey guys - hows everyone doing..uhm today was okay..s-test is an asslickin motherfucker..sorry..i hate it..uhm..we did a whole lot of nothing the rest of the days..i BEAT THE iNDiANS iN PADDLEBALL!..YESS..that sounds really racist but if your in my gym class you'd understand..uhm..this weekend is gunna be alot of fun..tomarrow mall with nicole & mike..then saturday nite going to the movies with maria & michelle..and i dunno who else..haha..i <3 my friends..man, this week coming up is going to be the best !..uhm and yeah..7 days til i turn 16 bitchess..oh & my dad called the driving school..haha..YES !..okay well anyways im gunna go now..later homies xo0x <3
-Chrissy </3 | | |
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